The eagle flies alone, surrounded by angels

“True leaders are not focused on themselves and their achievements, but rather on others and their personal and professional growth.” (1) It’s only when you realize that it’s not about you that you begin to lead at a higher level. How do we begin to acknowledge the people who’ve blessed our lives in amazing ways? By taking the time to breathe in the intertwining and view the mapping of their tapestry to ours.

I was not fully aware 12 years ago how intricately woven the intertwining would be of the women who had been in my life and those who would come to be. I came to New Directions for Women to spread my wings and answer an inner calling. As I’d come to realize, leaders don’t often speak about the loneliness of leadership. Not much is shared about how they get through each day, or where the strength, energy and courage come from. As I’ve come to know, though eagles fly alone, they’re surrounded by powerful Angels.

I’ve had many “Calgon, take me away” moments, and I don’t know how many “red eyes” I’ve taken, but it’s a lot. None of it could have been possible without the generations of men and women supporting and mentoring me along my journey. Sometimes on a red eye when I’m alone, wondering where to take the next step, I’m inspired by the memory of Peg Diehl’s words: “Just suit up and show up and do the next right thing.”

Peggy Diehl knew how to “deal” with life. As the co-founder of Seabrook House, and as my role model and mentor, she taught me leadership skills. She showed me how to put the “l” in lady. A sharp dresser, a shoe-aholic, and a lover of shopping, Peg gifted me with a new pair of shoes at every shopping spree. I literally and figuratively did not wear a pair of my own shoes for 25 years—not one pair. That was part of her legacy to me. Her shoes, like angel wings, helped me walk through life. In times of doubt, I imagine them on my feet, showing me where the next step is.

Faith Strong was the epitome of “faith” and “strong.” Recognized as the first person to bring Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) behind the Iron Curtain, Faith always said, “As human beings, we all have much more to give than we do. We have much more depth and weight and ability than we realize. All things are possible.” It has taken tremendous faith and tremendous strength to create what we have here at New Directions, and Faith has been with us in every step of the creating.

Dot Clock, chair of the board when the money was raised to build Founders House in 1984 (the first building to be built at New Directions for Women), always had time—time to do this and time to do that. She showed us we had more than enough time, time to raise money, and time to get done what was needed. Dot spearheaded the board, forged forward, always right on the dot, and right on time to take us to what was needed at that moment. She continued taking us to the next step, the next level, and the next part of our creation.

In the beginning of my 12 years as CEO at New Directions for Women, I would ask myself, “Are we creating a space where I would want my mother to be?” Elizabeth Flood, my mother, 5 feet tall and 100 pounds soaking wet, stepped out into the workplace after being a stay-at-home mom for 14 years, back in the '70s. Within five years she was a corporate vice president with a six-figure income. Always wearing a smile and very humble, she still ironed shirts, cooked Sunday dinner, and made things for our school activities. Led by a deep abiding faith, a love of life and family, and a belief in humankind, Elizabeth Flood opened her “flood” gates of happiness, spilling joy on everyone and lighting the world on fire wherever she went.

No matter how much we disagreed, when I really needed someone, my big sister was always there, and still looks out for me to this day. If anybody ever messed with my brother or me, Victoria Flood was the first one in their face. I remember that on the way home from school one day, a kid was bothering me, and she hit him over the head with a book. My protector and the intervention leader in my recovery, she taught me that blood is thicker than water, and that you stay in relationship with each other, no matter how different you are. I don’t know that I’d be sober today if not for her. Victoria was the “Victor” in my recovery. Working for the same company for 36 years and singing in church choir, she is a model of longevity and commitment. She taught me, “Don’t give up.”

Carole Pickup fell in love with New Directions long before I got here, when it was still a struggling nonprofit, unable to afford to pay for the leadership that was needed. Playing a major role in our fundraising, she sat patient and ready to engage at a time that was critical to our ongoing success and growth. On more than one occasion, over more than two decades, and at a couple of very significant times, Carole was instrumental and courageous in helping us “pick up” the flag, carry the torch, help raise money, and “pick up” the pieces and put it all back together, creating something even more than what our founders envisioned could ever be. She has created a legacy.

Ruth Stafford, one of the signing board members on the incorporation papers, was the “shepherd” who used her “staff” of good intentions to herd the flock, move them together, and keep them safe and in the fold. Volunteering much of her time, she was deeply involved in helping set the tone for the clinical program. She is also the primary reason I’m here at New Directions. While I was happily working across the country at Seabrook, she would say, “You need to come work with New Directions,” and I would say, “That’s never going to happen.” Then when she asked if I’d come just for a visit, I did. Little did I realize that the “visit” was an interview in disguise. I’ve learned never to say “never.” Ruth used her staff to shepherd the New Directions flock, moving me in the right direction.

Pamela Wilder, along with Muriel Zink and Marion Schoen, was the original founder and planter of our roots. When rebuilding New Directions for Women, we knew there was enough energy here that if we could just get down to the depths of the roots, and tend to them, we could make tremendous progress. Those roots were good and deep, and we did. Mrs. Wilder was indeed a wild one. One has to be pretty wild, daring and courageous to do something that no one else is doing. We continue to feel her spirited energy on and in the grounds, as well as a sense of peace and connectedness to the deep and lasting roots she planted.

When I look at the incredible names of these amazing and extraordinary women, I know the names and the mapping are no coincidence. It is in acknowledging the Faith Strongs, the Pam Wilders, the Dot Clocks, the Peg Diehls, the Carole Pickups, the Ruth Staffords, the Elizabeth and Victoria Floods, and the countless angels who’ve stepped up to help pave the way, that I’ve been able to spread my wings. These courageously pioneering women, all exquisitely unique, are the powerful threads in the tapestry of my life and work. Seeing women being healed and well inspires my faith, sustains my energy, and fuels my courage. When women are well, the world is well.

“No one is born to lead. A leader is created by a process, and the process includes self-development, sometimes by trial and error.” (1) With commitment to the process and belief in the vision, all things are possible. You can do anything you want to do, if you create the life to do it. Leadership is a calling. It’s been my calling. Sometimes my best falls short, and at times I can’t feel my wings or find my footing. When I feel like the eagle, flying alone, I remember the shoes that helped me walk and the tapestry of Angels all around me. Some are still living and others have long passed, and some I never knew when they were alive, but I have known their spirit and felt their presence.

Through the Floods of time, like Dots on a Clock stepping forward in Faith, we Pickup our Staff and courageously Diehl with life’s Wilder flights on our path to Victory.

References

1. Greggs-McQuilkin D. Creating the leader within you. MedSurg Nursing 2003 Oct 1.