Whiners

EMS Reruns is designed to address dilemmas you may have experienced in EMS that you did not know how to handle. But it offers you a luxury you don't have on scene: plenty of time to think. If you think of an example like the one that follows, send it to us. If we choose to publish your dilemma, we'll pay you $50. We don't know everything, but we do know a lot of smart people. If we need to, we'll contact just the right experts and share their advice with you. E-mail ideas to Nancy.Perry@cygnusb2b.com.

     It's finally here! You pull into the parking lot of your station and see the offgoing crew putting the final touches on your station's brand-new, shiny ambulance. You've all been coaxing the old one along, hoping this thing would arrive soon. Most everybody has provided input into its design, and you feel like an owner. She's a beaut, too-new-car smell and all. You and the bank are real proud of her.

     Of course, you're working with Chuck today, and you know he's going to spend the whole shift finding all the flaws. Chuck knows everything about everything and everybody, and nothing's ever right unless he does it. Only Chuck is like most critics. He doesn't actually do much of anything that's positive. He thinks if you know stuff, you shouldn't have to do it. Perhaps without realizing it, he's a major source of humor for the rest of the crews (mostly because they don't have to work with him).

     Unfortunately, you do. But breaking in a new rig is one of the ways we have fun in this business, and you're determined to enjoy it-Chuck or no Chuck.

     Sure enough, he shows up. And sure enough, in less than five minutes, he finds all kinds of things that aren't right. The microphone for the dispatch radio is in the wrong place. The offgoing crew has stowed the carry-in gear in the wrong places. Even the trash container isn't installed properly. And it's hard to reach the valve on the main O2 tank. That's just his initial list. And he's not merely displeased. He's indignant, and he expects you to feel the same way. He calls the ops chief and says you both have some serious problems you want to discuss.

     Q. Compared to Chuck, you're a relatively new paramedic. You're pretty thrilled with this new ambulance, and you don't want to cause any unnecessary trouble. But you do have to finish your shift with the guy. What do you do?
     A. You have at least three options, and probably more. One is to tell the ops chief in your partner's presence that you kinda like this ambulance. (That would discredit Chuck unnecessarily.) Two is to tell Chuck privately that you really don't have any complaints, and you'd rather he speaks for himself. (That could make him cranky, but you may have to do it anyway.) And three is to just keep your mouth shut. (That would definitely get noticed by the ops chief, without you saying a word.) I'd go for number three.
     Chuck's a whiner. Whiners know they get heard better if they enlist other people to endorse their complaints. It makes them seem less like whiners. And whiners are on every leader's nightmare list. If you don't agree with Chuck, don't miss this fine opportunity to shut up.

     Q. What makes Chuck act the way he does? He just seems to seek sources of unhappiness, and he alienates everybody else in the process.
     A. Sensitivity to nuances in human behavior is an invaluable tool for people who deal with folks in crisis, and lots of people like Chuck are born with that gift. But like many of the other gifts you find in good caregivers, this one comes with a dark side-and no instructions. When it's out of Chuck's control, he seems to wake up every morning determined to be unhappy. Even his sense of humor is based on the negative aspects of life. I think it's a balance issue, or a kind of depression. Chuck may never be able to control it without professional help and maybe some chemicals. People like him tend to be needy, they get their feelings hurt by the tiniest things, and they can be completely impossible to get along with.

     Q. If you're generally happy (and you like being that way), how do you get along with people like Chuck?
     A. For one thing, be on your guard at all times against their efforts to involve you in their unceasing complaints. Sometimes that may mean verbally correcting them when they do, whether they like that or not. For another, as an EMT or paramedic, every patient you contact is somebody less fortunate than you are. Each one can serve as a source of joy in your life-a reminder of how blessed you are to be who you are, to be doing what you're doing and to be coming home shift after shift to someone who loves you. Nobody with a brain ever gets into this business for money, and those constant reminders are just some of the gifts we seem to receive in return for helping people. You deserve to enjoy stuff like that.

     Of course, it wouldn't hurt to share that perspective with Chuck sometime. He may not listen. But he may.