Raising the Kids

In speaking recently with my daughter, the ecstatic, exhausted mother of an almost-two-year-old little girl (quite simply the most beautiful, intelligent, enchanting child ever born), I made what appears to be a significant statement: “Honey,” I said, “Nobody knows the right way to raise children. You just do what seems right and hope for the best.” This seems to have relieved her mightily of some of the guilt all new parents suffer over their imperfections, particularly as they struggle with those oh-so-terrible twos, when a child begins to recognize that he is an independent person who can make his own decisions about just about everything and does not have to take s—t from anyone, including and most especially his mother and father.

Despite my belief in the truth of that statement I made, as my daughter’s mother and the Golden Girl’s grandmother, I have, of course, found it impossible not to offer my suggestions on how to best raise a perfect child, based upon my success in producing three perfect children. All mothers are seen in their own eyes to be fonts of wisdom and feel an obligation to share their knowledge with their nearest and dearest. At last: the chance to be an expert, honored in one’s own land! What could be sweeter?

So what does all this have to do with EMS? I couldn’t help but think about the similarities between an experienced parent and an experienced EMT, and the nearly impossible-to-resist urge to bestow your knowledge on any and all, and the similarities between a noisy, inexperienced, thinks-he-knows-it-all two-year-old human being and a noisy, inexperienced, thinks-he-knows-it-all EMT. In a time of crisis and confusion for EMS and all professional personnel who are charged with providing care for our people during devastating circumstances, we are all in the same position, except that some of us know more than others of us.

It is the way in which the vitally important knowledge is transmitted that is key here. In EMS, one really can’t just do “what seems right and hope for the best,” although that is better than doing nothing. EMS has some tried and true practices and procedures that we know work. There are protocols, attitudes, skills, knowledge, basic understandings, practiced behaviors, repeated trials, ongoing testing and refinement. There is the confidence that comes only with experience, and the skill that comes only through practice. It’s difficult and time-consuming to teach someone “how to do EMS,” and when the student is young and perhaps cocky, believing in his heart that he doesn’t need to take s—t from anyone, including and most especially you—it’s tough to train up a rookie. You need to refrain from throwing your perfect saves and your perfect skills in his face, and remember when you were a youngster, desperate to learn, filled with guilt over your mistakes, wanting more than anything to do things right. You, like all the mothers and fathers, have much to teach your children, those green kids who put their futures—and their lives—in your hands.