Do Nice Managers Finish Last?

Ray Barishansky is a featured speaker at EMS World Expo 2015, scheduled for September 15-19 in Las Vegas, NV. Register today at EMSWorldExpo.com.

We have all heard stories of managers who became too friendly with employees they manage. They soon find themselves not taken seriously or, even worse, out of a job. We have also heard of more experienced managers who seem to have no soul, not sharing anything with staff and being cold or detached from the people they supervise.  

It’s a question that many new supervisors and managers have pondered: Is it better to be a nice leader to get your staff to like you or to be tough as nails to inspire respect and hard work?

In my years as an EMS supervisor and manager, I have often wondered the same thing and wondered which gets better results. I admit it, I want to be liked. Most of us do. It’s one of the fundamental tenets of human behavior. Because of that motivation, many of us have an unconscious desire to avoid conflict. The only problem with this mindset is creative ideas often stem from constructive conflict. EMS agencies need it to advance. Even in day-to-day operations, workplace conflict is inevitable because organizations are full of intelligent people with different views. There’s no way we can get along with everyone all the time.

On a flight recently, I had the chance to read an article in Harvard Business Review which offered insight into the aforementioned question about managers being too nice. The article, The Hard Data on Being a Nice Boss by Emma Seppälä¹ , shed light on new research which shows nice guys can actually finish first, as long as they use the right strategies to prevent others from taking advantage of them.

This fit nicely into my own thoughts on the best way to manage EMS organizations—there is a balance that EMS supervisors, managers and executives need to strike in order to lead efficient organizations. It isn’t an easy one. The balance includes elements like subject matter expertise, managerial acumen, communication skills and other variables to pull together the various parts of an organization, understand the realities that your organization faces, the various strengths and weaknesses of your personnel and make it into an effective machine.

An interesting, related study shows when leaders are fair to the members of their team, the team members are more productive, both individually and as a team. Jonathan Haidt at New York University Stern School of Business shows in his research when leaders are self-sacrificing, their employees’ are more moved and inspired.

As a result, the employees feel more loyal and committed and are more likely to go out of their way to be helpful and friendly to other employees. Research shows when you work with people who help you, you will be more likely to help others (and not necessarily just those who helped you).

So what is the next move for managers? Does this mean you need to suddenly change the way you are doing things and switch to a new managerial paradigm?

Not necessarily, but there are some actionable areas where managers can both move their organizations forward and walk the line between being too nice and being too tough :

• Encourage team members to ask probing questions and challenge assumptions in a constructive way. When a manager asks “Have you thought about this?” it should feel like a productive conversation rather than a personal attack.
• When employees take the risk of creating a productive disruption, give them positive reinforcement. If someone pushes back or raises an uncomfortable question in a meeting, back them up rather than shut them down. If possible, use it as a teachable moment to encourage others to do the same.
• Set boundaries and be consistent with them. Almost every “person problem” is really a structure problem—a crack in the system where the rule-makers have failed to effectively communicate with the rule-followers. Having to tell employees about coming in on time and other proper behavior is a hard pill to swallow for most. But instead of thinking of it as telling people what to do, try seeing it as simply providing people with boundaries.
• Rather than worry about nice or not nice, be mature. When you get to a leadership level, certain things have to become second nature. These include not griping to those at lower levels than you, showing emotional maturity in the face of disagreement and not making excuses for underperformers. If these things don’t seem intuitive to you, it may be time to re-examine where you are.

There is no one set recipe for effective management—there are some managers who can come off as detached and should not be afraid to be a nicer guy. And aspiring nice guys should not view that as incompatible with setting demanding goals and holding people’s feet to the fire. The two approaches are like the oars of a boat. Both need to be used with equal force to maximize your personnel and reach organizational goals and objectives.

In the short term, it’s almost always easier to avoid conflict and come across as being a nice manager. But more often than not, being a little less nice might be the best thing for your people, your organization and you.

Reference

1. Seppälä E. The Hard Data on Being a Nice Boss. Harvard Business Review, www.hbr.org.