LGBT Domestic Violence: A Treatment Issue We Too Often Avoid

The first public demonstrations demanding fair treatment for sexual minorities occurred in 1965 at both the Liberty Bell site in Philadelphia and the White House.  Protest organizer Franklin Kameny required demonstrators adhere to a strict dress code: men in shirts and ties and women in dresses.  Kameny recognized the importance of public image in gaining public support, and this insistence on a positive image continues today.  For example, Sue Hyde, longtime LGBT activist and author of Come Out and Win, recently wrote that the LGBT movement crafts “organizing materials and events that feature only the most wholesome (i.e., acceptable to the mainstream) aspects of the LGBT community” and “censor the more colorful characters in the LGBT communities.”[i]  Elizabeth Castellana, former National Program Director for COLAGE, similarly concluded, “In an effort to win equality, we are pushing the image of the goodness and “normalcy.””[ii]

This focus on “wholesome” and “goodness” elides the fact that many LGBTQs face serious problems that are rarely addressed publically, even in the LGBTQ community.  One such problem is domestic violence. The National Center for Victims of Crime estimates that intimate partner violence occurs in the relationships of LGBT people at about the same rate as in heterosexual relationships, or in approximately 25 to 33 percent of all relationships.[iii] The National Violence Against Women Survey reported that slightly more than 11 percent of women who had lived with a woman as part of a couple reported being raped, physically assaulted, and/or stalked by a female cohabitant.[iv]   In one study, 39 percent of gay men reported at least one type of physical abuse by a partner over a five-year period.[v]  Finally, the National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs has been tracking LGBT intimate partner violence since 1998 and found a 15% increase since 2008.[vi]

While preparing my book “Family Pride: What LGBT Families Should Know about Navigating Home, School, and Safety in Their Neighborhoods,” I interviewed Irene about her history of domestic violence.  She stolidly detailed the years of physical abuse that had occurred at the hands of her now deceased partner Dede.  I asked her whether she had ever felt fearful for her life.

“Of course.  Look at me…I’m not the butch type.  Dede was.  I’m sorry to use stereotypes, but I’m old fashioned, and the butch/femme roles were part of our upbringings.  When Dede was mad and drunk, she aimed to hurt.  And she did.  This was overt no holds barred physical abuse.”

I asked if she had ever contacted the police, and this question elicited annoyance on her part.

“Of course I didn’t.  Can you imagine a lesbian living in rural Minnesota contacting the sheriff’s office about domestic violence being perpetrated by another woman?  That would have only made our situation worse.  Far worse.”

Victims of intimate partner violence hesitate to contact law enforcement for the same reasons LGBTQs in general decline seeking assistance for other forms of violence:  fear of police response.  Surveys find verbal and physical abuse are frequent experiences for LGBTQs in regards to police contact, particularly for lesbians and transgender individuals. [vii] Also, LGBTQ victims of domestic abuse fear being arrested themselves, worry about how their partner would be treated in police custody because of his or her LGBTQ identity, and are concerned that reporting this violence will “out” them to the community.

Treatment providers will hear more and more about LGBT domestic violence as their number increases in the behavioral health system.  Currently, gay, lesbian, and bisexual adults are roughly twice as likely as the general population to be without health insurance coverage, and rates of uninsurance are even higher for transgender individuals.[viii] Since the Affordable Care Act includes mental health and substance use recovery services among the essential benefits that all qualified insurance plans must offer, behavioral health care systems might be dealing with an influx of more LGBTs and their families than at any other point in its history. Unfortunately, resources for LGBT domestic violence remain sparse, particularly those living in non-urban settings.  Many existing domestic violence programs are unprepared to work with LGBTQ domestic violence, or, as summarized in the 2010 national survey of treatment providers Why It Matters: Rethinking Victim Assistance for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer Victims of Hate Violence & Intimate Partner Violence,” “Most—from youth services to elder services and government agencies to nonprofits—face challenges in providing culturally competent services to LGBT survivors of violence. Obstacles range from general underlying staff homophobia to a perception that there is no need for specialized services for LGBT people. Victim service providers report they are overworked, under-funded, understaffed, and have limited options for offering a broad range of services in ways that are culturally specific. Thus, many providers have adopted a “one size fits all” approach to service provision…”[ix] Services, the study noted, are particularly dire for gay male and transgender victims of domestic violence.

It behooves providers to begin thinking ahead for an issue that they will ultimately confront, and I recommend the Why It Matters document as a starting point for evaluating one’s own program.